A Sindhi friend of mine from the Middle East dishes out some mean Pav Bhaji, Rasam, Curd rice, Alu paratha. And there is some suspicion that Swine flu and other gastro diseases have had their origin in the Dubai/Sharjah area.
As it happened, she & I would tell each other whenever we messed up some dish. And we started to keep scores also. The first day I burnt rice (I dont use pressure cookers like other housewives do), I had to throw it out. Even my puppies refused to taste it. But everything else turned out wow. Honest that I am, I mentioned the rice disaster to my friend. And the score was me 1, she zero.
And as time went by, the score changed progressively from 0-1 to 5-1. My friend would occasionally let slip (very guarded though she is) that something was "accidentally" burnt. I would immediately update the score in my diary. Later, the burning incidents became more frequent with the result that the Dubai fire engine service started scheduling their resources and activities based on whether she planned to cook.
The other day, she accused me of not cooking frequently enough and THAT being the reason why my score has remained at 1 while she being a more regular (!! we all know how regular) cook, her score had obviously increased. And hence demanded that SHE be considered the winner of the cooking contest.
Now here was a glitch. It took me quite some time to get my idea across to her. It was my contention that we were not measuring the success rate. We were only measuring who burnt dishes more frequently. Hence how often each one cooked was irrelevant.
Her answer was a silent "hmmmm". I took it as her strong disapproval of my theory. Meanwhile I asked another good friend of mine to adjudicate. She also said that the Sindhi girl was the winner. Strange is the way a woman's mind (I use this word rather loosely here) works.
So I devised a plan to convince my friend in Dubai. I asked her if she understood cricket and cricket scores. She said NO. I interpreted that (correctly, as it turned out later) to mean that she did understand cricket. I said "Let's say in a match, Sachin Tendulkar scored 55 in 100 balls. And let's say Dhoni scored 35 in 33 balls. I asked her who would be the highest scorer in the match. Without hesitation my friend replied "oni". "Oni"? Some sindhi name? Then I understood she was eating then and had her mouth full. She then explained logically that 55 runs in 100 balls = 55% strike rate and detailed the mathematical working. I had a saridon and then asked her after she had finished, whether my question related to higher SCORE or higher STRIKE RATE. She said "score, NO its the Strike rate, NO NO its the score".
In the same way if the question is: who burnt dishes more, it does not matter how often we cooked. We are only tracking who burnt dishes more often.
As usual after a lot of discussion she conceded the point with poor grace. I was too tired then to go out and inform the puppies.
And then I made a resolution and I told her.
"I have decided. I dont want to keep scores anymore. I want to compete only with people who are at my level. Aire gaire logon ke saath nahi". She was happy. No more tension.
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