This is a series of 3 letters / posts from my brother to his niece, about how different the world was back then. I liked it so much that I am posting the same here with a few minor edits. It's not available online where I can link to.
Part I
Folks,
How old was I?
My niece asked me this the other day. She’s all of 18 years old, and has just joined college with journalism as her major. I’ve been sort of helping her out with a few tidbits on writing & have also managed to delude her into putting faith in my intrinsic writing skills.
So coming back to her question, what better way, I thought, of giving her a reply in writing – and that too in a way writers are wont to, i.e embark on a long exercise of circomlocution before coming to the point.
So here's how I plan to reply….
I was born at a time when ceiling fans had come to stay in the cities, while in our native villages, fans were few; and the few houses that had them, they were run during summer afternoons, for the Head of the HUF, who would have just been back after a long session of “adda” (chat) in the thinnai outside. The children could join in with him, and avail of the luxury of the fanned hot air. Ladies would make do with ‘kai visiri’ a hand held palm leaf fan.
To the times I was born in, walking was the only means of travel to school. Cycles were the domain of the elders or the idle rich children (of whom we’d only heard; they were never part of our horizon). Buses were too crowded & dangerous, & anyway what’s a couple of miles distance…do the children good to get the exercise. Anyway not many parents could have easily afforded this cashflow.
Schools during my times were not the eight hour concentration camps of today. 10.45 am to 4 PM. Unlike my daughters who had to be provided both breakfast & lunch to carry, we left home for school after lunch. For the lucky single son / child amongst us the tiffin was a couple of slices of bread toast embellished with sugar. The rest had to make do with curd rice & pickle. Bought outs were yet to find space.
At the time I was born, family sizes had shrunk. No longer was it considered polite to say that we are a family of 12. An average family size varied between 5 & 8. Many families had started working out a corelation between family size and consequent impact on finances, and generally moving towards the slogan “Hum Do Hamara Do”. That is not to say that most of my friends hailed from that 2 children category. You see, these were times of transition; I was the eldest of a two children family, and many of my friends were 3rd or the 4th child of a 7 or 8 member family. Our parents themselves belonged to different age groups then.
TO BE CONTD....(ha ha!)
Part II
folks
Here's the 2nd instalment on my communication on the subject matter:
Well, on the subject of finances, I must add that those days were very different to what we have today. During our childhood, ladies seeking employment was just being talked about….often slyly. The male member went to work, and incidentally all the working males, ie. our parents belonged to the same salary bandwidth. That is, all of them were typists, stenographers, or accounts or office assistants. It was a rare case of one or two had become “officers”.
As such affordability those days was calculated by not what one earned, but by the number of mouths the salary had to feed. Added to this, in those times, family ties were strong, and distances did nothing to diminish the commitments. As a matter of fact our fathers had come over for the simple reason that there was not enough at home. the city was an option where one could both earn & send home for the remaining …..parents, sisters, brothers et al. Even when these people, our fathers I mean, got married, had families of their own, the responsibilities continued. Sister’s marriage, brother’s studies, paying the village palasarakku kadai for accumulated dues…. Beyond this, of course as each of the uncles started finishing school they too came over; stayed in our houses until they married & moved out on their own. So most families during our times, were never nuclear & the term loneliness & isolation had not yet found their way into our lifestyles. But cash strapped our parents were all the time, & the pay packet of the 1st of the month was the most awaited event in the family.
About our houses in the city another thought comes to the mind. Multiple bedrooms, one for each member, attached toilets etc belonged to the future. One room kitchen, or two room kitchen was what one had to do with. This could house as many as 7 to 8 people. One toilet, which included the wash & the loo. Eight members, one toilet – mornings were leery. Yet nobody complained. Who had heard of an alternative?
Indoor entertainments were restricted to a radio. With so many members competing for 1 source of entertainment, the younger child made do with the programme chosen by the more privileged. There were programmes of common interest to the entire family. Binaca geet mala comes to my mind. amin sayani – strike a chord?
The select few households, like mine, (we were a two children family mind you) had just about moved up the ‘well to do ladder’. I remember, I was in 6th class or so, when we had the indane gas & prestige cooker coming into our house on the same day. Neighbors flocked in & there was this excited talk all around. I could also see a resigned look amongst the males around. It was to be their turn next & how were they going to manage it?
Part III will be the closure of the torture!!
PART III & CURTAIN
Fridges were still sometime away. Asking for chilled water out of a bottle from the blessed few who had a fridge was fun. Tape recorders – the tape rotating between two cassettes (that’s how it got its name I suppose) were into the domain of the rich; and at least I did not boast of one friend who had it at home. Such were the days where I spent my childhood & adolescence, my dear niece.
Contacting one another over distances – mobiles were not only unavailable; they were undreamt of. Even the James Bond movies had not featured them then! A couple of my friends had phones at home. Our building with 8 flats had one landline (fixed phones were called so) – and every flat member used it for urgency; to receive or make calls. That family, as I recall, was looked up at, and was at the receiving end of multiple largesse from other residents; they were at the high end of the totem pole. You need to make a call to another city/village - You booked a call to the post office of the other city/village – often a Person to person call. If the person at the other end was available the post office would send for him. He would go to the post office. A return call was generated and you talked to the person you wanted to. The call could take anywhere from half an hour to 5 hours to mature. There were other trunk call types – ordinary, urgent, & lightening; a lightening call cost 8 times as much as an ordinary trunk call & was not within purview of any known acquaintance.
So how did people communicate over distances; no mobiles; computers & instant messaging only a sci fi reality. Post Cards & Inland letters; those were the medium. A PC (postcard) cost 5 paise (grew to 10 p last I purchased one; must have been 25 years back) & an inland @ 15p. We wrote; some often & some less so. But write everybody did. (Many of us still do – write I mean. And factoring our backgrounds, write very effectively, I’d claim). Dot pens still had not wormed their way into our lives. Fountain Pens – I had an artex, I recall, cost all of 3.50 & a very expensive Rs. 3.50, let me assure you.
The use & throw culture was yet to set in. But we’d heard of it from elsewhere. Disposable shaving cartridges, dot pens, even cameras!! One had one pair of slippers & shoes; one watch, if you were 10th class or higher; two pens possibly; 3 pairs of dresses came afresh each year – 2 school uniforms & one dress for diwali. Birthdays were written about in Enid Blyton Books. That’s how we knew about them. Otherwise the 1st & the 60th birthdays were the norm. Beauty parlors were on – film stars used them & the rest gawked! A hair cut was available at Rs. 5/- and anyone would hv preferred to have the cash to a haircut. One was forced to have a complete shave so that the next hair cut would be at least a month or beyond – money counted those days. You could use any soap as long as it was lifebuoy, and one soap was shared amongst 4 others!! Nobody owned anything much then; & neither did we know much about possession; such simpletons were’nt we? Incidentally our mothers' makeup was limited to usage of Ponds Talcum Powder (perfumed CaCO3 packed in pink aluminium tins); shampoos, face wash, beauty parlors & eye brow pluckings; manicures & pedicures - so many words were outside our limited vocabulary; & thanks to your mothers we've since come to expand our horizons considerably.
Credit cards, cashless travel – we did not know about or care. Tatas, Birlas (the rich of those days) travelled by air!
& what did things cost? Things you still have continuing now; an expensive HMT watch cost Rs. 100/-, a shoe & shirt was available at Rs. 25/-. A pant came in more expensive at Rs. 40/-. Money allocated for crackers (diwali) was 5/- per child & that was not possible without a great deal of cajoling & tantrums thrown in. Cinemas with parents at Re 1.40 per ticket & amongst ourselves we managed at 0.65 per ticket - No snacking; travel was in buses & trams; taxis were used by & large to go to railway station; there was a lot of luggage. Buses cost 0.10 per ticket & IInd class tram travel was possible at 0.05! An eat out at the Kalighat Dhaba ( a joint close to where we lived) cost Rs. 5/- per family, and such outings were eagerly awaited. The reasonably well to do (like our family) managed it once in a month or two!
So when dear niece do you think I was born;
1. We were born at a time when middle class was defined as a class making do with the monthly salary of one person; managing without taking too many loans.
2. We lived in rented flats that housed many more people than had rooms; and continued to live in the same flats, localities, & cities for years. Houses these days seem to have more toilets than people!
3. Possession & possessiveness were not characteristics practiced or possible.
4. The culture of changing something - just becoz they’d become old or that a newer, better model was available; this too belongs more to the current generation dear than ours. We did not bear to think of discarding our spouses becoz the model was outdated. We had fewer parents who had separated because of incompatibility. Marriages were made in heaven & lasted until you returned there (or went elsewhere)!
5. Our generation was not one where we had options or choices. So we just went about doing something & making most out of it. We just did not know or have enough to agonize.
6. We had very few dreams consequently & these would sound so petty to you & my daughter now. Having mishti doi (sweet yoghurt/curd) – a kg of that was a dream your uncle shared with his classmate - & achieved with his first earnings. So many dreams were dreamt & achieved. We lived in times of achievements. nobody taught us to dream big. I still am not able to decide whether it is preferable to dream a series of small dreams & have the happiness of achievements or dream big & struggle your way to a major success (possibly!).
But you are the new generation my child. And you are born to a time of very fast paced lifestyles. Remember Everyone is allowed just so much fuel. You have two options. Lighting a small wick & allowing the small flame to linger long; or live it up & leave in one big bang.
Whatever you choose, all the very best.
